After Christmas, we were still talking to each other and sizing up possibilities. We knew what we wanted to do (start a solicitor's firm), what resources we had (a solicitor helped, an IT amateur, and a lot of determination) and what we wanted to achieve (we needed a firm that would pay the bills, serve the community and give us satisfaction. Probably in that order as well.) but planning steps and getting the system sorted can take some time.
And then there's always the dreaded decision to be made; when to jump??
You see, we stood in the kitchen (all our best discussions happened in the kitchen back then; it was the only place where we didn't have little ears listening in, and I was usually cooking or cleaning in it when Mr Mr returned from work) on very many days going "Yeah! We have the idea! We want to set up on our own......." and then taking the step back from the edge.
I've never done a bungee jump (too scared of heights) but I have been daft enough to climb to the top of high buildings and then look down. I think what we felt was a little like that, a sort of precognitive vertigo, where we would look into the future and, as long as we looked far ahead enough we could see the golden dawn on the horizon and feel secure in what we wanted but looking straight down to the days ahead gave us an uncomfortable feeling of dizziness, gut-twisting nausea and a wish to move back, to move away and hide.
That first step is a hard one.
I don't think we would have taken that first step if it hadn't been for fate giving us a hefty push and saying... screaming.... JUMP NOW!!!
One May night, Mr Mr came home and said that there was news from the office. About the firm. The last time he'd said that, the law firm he worked for had gone bust overnight (night before our first anniversary, thank you very much) and we'd been devastated, unable to do anything but get drunk. I was reaching for the Aldi red wine when he smiled and said,
"They're introducing a new contract. It would mean a cut in pay. I've got til September to sign it. And if I don't sign, they'll lay me off."
We had a date.
I seem to remember that night all the paperwork we'd done so far came out; the lists, the calculations, the plans and goals. We talked and planned and began to set in place a plan and a date for starting the plans and ... most excitingly... a date for completing the plans. October 2013 would be the month when Mr Mr would cease to be a salaried member of the legal profession and become a solo practitioner.
October would be the day we broke through the surface from paid employment to the freedom of self-employed.
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